Good afternoon Pittsburgh.
Last night was fun until it lead to heartache. Partying with Courtney never gets old and last night was yet again another crazy event. Saying we were wasted doesn’t describe us at all. However I still managed to get into an argument with Warren about lord knows what but I do remember him saying some BS. But after the club lead to Warren in my truck doing some things followed by him passing out in my bed. Phone rings. I pick it up to bring it to him but he pushes it away. So my intoxicated mind was urging me to look and what do ya know, I did.
OMFG. This boy’s phone was filled with naked pictures, homemade porn and just text messages that filled me with anger. I tried to wake him up to take him home but that lead to us fighting and him calling me crazy and whatnot. He rolls over and I just sit there in pain, replaying all videos, pictures & messages in my mind and the tears begin to stain my cheeks.
“I’m sorry.”” I can explain.” “I never meant to hurt you.” these became his new favorite words. However I just wasn’t hearing it. I wanted to punch him in his face for constantly lying to me and playing with my emotions. Needless to say we argued some more & I feel asleep in his arms. Waking up this morning I realized all those tears caused me to have thee worse headache ever.
“what were we arguing about last night?” hearing these words stung like a pain I’ve never felt before. I just wanted to be like are u freaking kidding me. So I explained what went on last night which lead to more tears and forehead kisses…I love you’s, never again. Blah blah blah. Words I did not want to hear at that moment. I was just shocked and I could not move. I wanted nothing more than to call and cry to my best friend Oliver about what had happened but I couldn’t. We talked. Kissed. Hugged. Ugh. I just couldn’t shake the fact that he was so worried about me breaking his heart that he hadn’t realized he had broken mine. He made me promise that I wouldn’t make any rash decision being that I was upset, but I can’t. I honestly am at a loss for words and just don’t know what to do with the whole situation. I love Warren to death and then some. I would do anything for that man but the lies and deceit are outrageous. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry but I think I have cried way to much. I’m over the tears. I’m over the drama. I just want to be left alone and make my decision off of a stable heart.
I know one things for sure, I would so take a hangover over a broken heart any day.
Work is busy, I’m surprised I found the time to type this. I’m taking one of my students to the mall this afternoon to find her an outfit for her birthday and I’m totally looking forward to seeing her smiling face.
Until next time America,
Good afternoon Pittsburgh.