Well I can’t remember if my tweets show up on my blog or not but I’ve decided to break away from social networks for a month or so. After recent events, I just need a break from it all. I need to regain my sanity & not to mention my happiness. Something has got to go & those just seem like the easiest and not to mention the best solution. I will continue to blog my little heart out though.
Secondly once again I find myself lovesick & empty. I swear this never-ending cycle of pain gets more & more difficult each time. Shouldn’t it be the complete opposite though? I mean I’m pretty much getting used to having my heart broke. I just don’t get it. What am I doing wrong? I love hard and end up flat on my face only to do it again. My face & my heart can not take it anymore. And this situation seems to be even more difficult because I truly fell hard & was in a complete state of happiness only to find out that confusion & uncertainty were consuming his thoughts and things changed. I mean everyone has their relapses in relationships but at what point do you realize that things ended for a reason and why go back? Idk I only control my emotions, thoughts, actions and no one else. Again I find myself questioning myself and walking away from a situation that I believed to be damn near perfect. Now I’m standing here alone, tears running down my face with a broken heart and a mind of confusion. Lord knows I do not want to walk away but its a must. Like my mama said, “i don’t want someone who wants someone else”.
It’s time for me to rewind and start all over again. I need to find the strength to move on from this situation with my head high and the thought that I will find the one for me. Easier said then done right? Especially when my heart and mind are at war on what to do. But I will make it. Tears and thoughts of what went wrong will be my bestfriend and enemies for the next few days, weeks, heck who knows. That doesn’t mean I can’t get over this, this will not be the last time my heart breaks. I can only hope the next time is a winner because I’m getting tired of saying goodbye.
Peace & Love.