Well the main reason for this post is due to my sons father & I failing to see eye to eye anymore. I’m not saying things were perfect between us but we were making things work. Our little family had it’s share of ups and downs but at the end of the day, I knew one thing…I loved him & he loved me. However lately things have seemed to go in a different direction. It pains me to type this but I believe he didn’t want to be a father anymore. Instead he was focused on his friends and money. Now part of me can relate because he was in jail for most of his “coming of age” years and I guess in a sense he is catching up. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that we both had created something so amazing however he has reached a point where he has placed my son on the back burner. This hurts me the most because I would give up everything just to know that my son is happy, loved & taken care of. I guess we just are on two different pages. It sucks because I was rooting for my son to have the perfect relationship with his father. To be able to boast that he came from a two parent home…to live things that I was never able to live due to the absence of my father. I’m not saying that I will never date again because I know that’s a lie but I just wanted his father to fall in love with him as much as did.
“You can’t always get what ya want right?…but if you try sometime you get whatcha need.” with that being said it’s my time to try & try again. I know God has more planned for me, I can just feel it.
Now onto the reason for the title of this post. I’ve been debating for quite some time now whether or not to move to Phoenix to begin my life as an adult. I’m ready to do things 100% on my own with my family in my corner, instead of my back pocket. I’ve been checking out the non-profit sector out there and man it is everything I dreamed of and more. I know this is the move for me, I can feel it in my bones.
I think I’ve over this debate stage, I’m going to do it. I mean it’s now or never and I’m not a person who sits around and waits for things to come to me.
In the words of Miss Frizzle, it’s time to take chances, make mistakes & get messy. 😀
I’m excited about this new chapter in my life & I promise to keep you all updated. Until next time.
Peace. Love. Happiness.