Of course insomnia causes me to overthink and overthinking leads to insanity. I’ve been in some sort of funk lately. Questioning things that I clearly have zero control over and then questioning past decisions and the outcomes of those choices.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my problem is I just do not listen. I never listen to the warning signs or the input of others when they were commenting on my personal matters. Why? Because I’m a Leo, Queen of the know it alls. Idk I’ve always been a scientific person, and if I don’t see it then I don’t believe it. So of course listening for things holds no merit. However in my 25 years of living, seeing to believe has brought nothing but heartache and sadly I’m doomed to repeat unless something changes.
Now I haven’t been in a relationship for quite some time and part of me (my heart) HATES being single while my other half (my brain) knows it’s what’s best for me. I love everything about love however with my lack of listening skills things never end in my favor and that hurts. I’m constantly questioning past relationships and over analyzing every single detail to see if there was something I missed, something I did not see. Yet that’s getting me nowhere.
“Sometimes we can’t enjoy the future because we are dwelling on past mistakes..let it go” not sure who said this but it is the truth. It’s time for me to let go and move on or I’m doomed to repeat everything that caused me hours of tears and heartache. With that being said I’m wiping these tears of frustration and contemplation and picking up the pieces and moving on. I want to thank every single person who has broken my poor little heart because now I know to LISTEN. Listen to not only my big ole brain but listen to my feelings and not solely make decisions off of what I see.
With that being said I’ll leave you all with one of my favorite pieces advice I received to date, “Relationships end but you have to keep going until you find one that doesn’t.” I know it’s not my time to love someone but I know it’s not the end of the world.
Peace and love ❤